Mitsuko
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"If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come." (II Corinthians 5:17)
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What does "renewal" mean to you?
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Today is December 3, which happens to be the 12th anniversary of my"White Dove"
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experience.
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To me, the renewal means my life itself and my being after my encounter with the Lord
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through the White Dove experience. Prior to that, I was in darkness and I could not see myself. I did not know myself. Now that I am a new person, and I can clearly see my old self.
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My first foremost renewal is my reconciliation with the nature. I used to wonder, "Why can't
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I completely blend into the nature? How can I feel close to, and become a part of, the beauty of the nature?" I must have sensed that the nature won't hurt me because it has no self-assertiveness, nor self-indulgence, nor self-righteousness. I used to have fear of being hurt. The Cross took away the barrier between "me" and the "nature". Not only Christ took away the barrier between me and the nature, but also the barrier between me and other people, as well as the barrier between me and my other faces of myself.
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It was around 7:30 a.m. this morning, when I was hanging up the laundry outside, that I
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heard a praise. Somebody was singing. I did not know who it was or where it came from. I knew the song. I remembered the song. I started to sing the song. Then, suddenly, I realized that it was the praise, "I am Always with You", by Makiko Yamada (who has recently passed away). I was even more surprised to realize that today was the White Dove anniversary. I thought maybe Makiko was telling me, "I haven't forgotten your December 3."
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The Lord took away the barrier between life and death as well as the barrier between the
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nature and myself. This is my second renewal. Life is contradictory to death for man. After the White Dove experience, however, I somehow knew that life and death is one thing in the resurrected life of Christ. Now, I can accept fear of death. Because I am convinced the resurrected life of Christ Jesus.
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The separation by death is sad, and Makiko's death was certainly too tragic to accept,
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which must have made God sad. But I am grateful that God gave me faith to believe that death is not the end. I believe that God has His desire for those who died, and that they will be filled with His joy according to His will in the heaven.
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My third renewal is my knowledge of the truth about fear. I know that fear is the strong
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force to separate me from the love of God. It deprives me of the joy of the Lord and my ability to see God. After my encounter with God, and being captured by the great love of God, I could accept myself to have a fear. Then I realized how coward I was and how bounded by fear I was blindly. My utmost fear was to be hurt. This fear may never leave me completely in all of my life, but the fear no longer controls over me. Because now I can clearly see myself who is bound by fear when I am afraid. I got to know God who Himself come to rescue me, "It is I." I am no longer a slave of fear. Jesus Christ is my Lord, my Redeemer.
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The event of "Black Hole" (the world where no God is) was the utmost fearful incident after
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I met God, and where I could not find God at all (in other words, I entered into the world where God was absent). However, such an experience that I could exist without God's presence, delivered me from fear by faith. I was convicted that the faith God granted me requires me to decide to trust in Him as His creation. It is my salvation.
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To me, all three renewals mean that God set me free from fear. The more I know the love
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of God, the more deliverance I experience. The more delivered I am, the more joy I have in the love of God. In other words, renewal in Christ means to know Christ who redeemed me on the Cross.
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I am convinced that we are renewed in Christ and by Christ, and that it is done for the Lord
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Jesus Christ to fulfill the purpose of God. The renewal means a joy of receiving the faith in Jesus Christ, our Lord.
December 3, 1999
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